Almost every single day, I have some male or the other trying to approach me. There are friends trying to set me up. There is family who feels that my life is a perfect waste because I have no man by my side. I have friends within my circle who are happy and feel like their lives are perfectly put together. Having a man in their lives will only bring about unnecessary complications.
I have been asked, what kind of a man would make my head turn in his direction, not that my opinion is thaaat important…eye roll…but this is what most women desire…
The perfect man does NOT exist but real men do. I know they exist and I have noticed how these honorable men treat their women and I have the utmost respect for them.
How Real Men Behave:
Mature men live their lives with confidence in themselves and their abilities. They take risks and are not afraid of criticism nor are they afraid of having their ego’s slightly bruised.
Follow their own rules
While they respect other people’s opinions, thoughts and ideas, they follow their own rules and do not live their lives trying to please or impress others.
They treat women with respect
They understand that women have their strengths and weaknesses, fears and desires and they do not see women as competition. Women are viewed as equals mentally. They treat women with respect regardless of who she may be and what she does.
They are resilient
They don’t harbor resentment or hold on to grudges. They simply move
Mature men do not allow people to bully them. They are assertive and remain cool and composed. They are positive and always look at the brighter side of life.
They are ambitious
They constantly seek ways to improve their own personal development and growth. You won’t hear them complaining about the sacrifices they had to make or the hard work involved in achieving their goals.
Mature men understand responsibility
They don’t see their jobs as boring. They understand that whether it is a job or a career, people depend on them.
Real men do not step back on their morals ethics, self-respect and integrity
If it means being hard on someone, they will do it. Their morals and ethics are never compromised. Ever.
Good communication skills
Mature men, know how to communicate. They are easily able to convey their needs and no conversation is too difficult to hold.
Stimulated by intellect more than superficial beauty
Boys are intimidated by women who are mentally smarter than they are. Real men are stimulated by intellectual conversation.
They are sincere
Real men will compliment women only to uplift her, and not to get her into bed.
Real men know how to provide support. They are not put off by women who have aspirations.
They have spiritual convictions and faith in a higher power
A real man has a strong set of beliefs that leads him in every decision he makes. Prayer and spirituality is something that comes easily to him.
They are-self sufficient and able to take care of their own basic needs
If there are no women to cook and clean, they won’t die from deprivation of a women’s touch in their lives.
This is just a condensed list of what women seek in men. Get this loud and clear! Women do not crave wealth, good looks and status. To put this to you very simply, some of us actually prefer men of substance and good character over those with flashy cars and the latest fade haircut. If you thought she wanted a part of your bank balance, you should know by now how very wrong you were.
If you broke up with your soul mate, it probably felt as if you survived Armageddon. Break-ups are not easy but you have overcome many challenges. Hey..take it easy on yourself. This too will be a challenge that you managed to conquer! Don’t stress yourself out over someone who is already laughing with other women, while you are living the life of a recluse and moping around. Is he worth your sanity? I don’t think so, my friend. Nothing is worth your peace of mind!
Tell me… how badly do you want that transformation? A little bit of creativity and a dose of sass is what you require for your personal development plan to work. I must warn you, though that positive thoughts alone will not set you free. You need to have an action plan. Before you get into that car and start moving, make sure that you not making any impulsive decisions based on a whim. It’s best that you carefully weigh your options first.
For some reason, breaks ups become a sort of renewal of our lives. Out with the old and in with the new is sometimes necessary for personal development. There are a billion lessons that you have probably learned from your break up by now. Those lessons are priceless. for your growth. You probably can’t even imagine being with someone else right now. One day though your pieces will be restored and glued together again. You will remember these days as the stepping stone to finding the one you supposed to be with forever. You will thank your creator for bringing you to the place that this will lead to.
Create a gratitude journal and fill it with the little things that made you happy for the day.
Save your money. Make wise investments. Soon you will have a lump sum to play with.
Reconnect with your family and loved ones. There are many people who just want to see you happy.
Breakups are a normal part of life, as painful as they may be. However, if you make a pact with yourself to move forward, you can’t possibly go wrong! In no time, you will get your bounce back. You will realize that you have not thought about your ex for a long time. Your soul will feel lighter and you will attract people into your life. These people will be on the same level as you. Remember that a contented and happy soul will attract like-minded people to the new you. Your new lifestyle will bring you immense success. Do not give up or give in to depression and apathy. You are the only one who can put all your pieces back together again!
Want To Know How To Keep him wrapped around your pinky finger for Life? Let Me Tell You What I Have Learned over the years!
(This is a two-part series that must be read to the end. I may just go on to the third part..or not…but hang around. It will be worth the read, trust me.)
I chose this topic because I am so tired of dishing out advice to clueless friends. I will now direct them to this blog and hope they don’t bug me any more. After all I am single, free and rather content with my lot in life. Don’t need any stress.
Newsflash: You can keep the affections and love of the person you marry/married for the rest of your life. It is a given that there are loads of pathological liars and serial cheaters out there who don’t need a reason to cheat. They see. They like. They take.
Then, there are those that get fed – up of trying to save a hopeless marriage for so long and just give up, eventually. All it takes is one kind word, or one provocative female, or a little bit of attention and then years of happiness is destroyed instantly. This is no justification for cheating. It is a vile act, but it happens more than the amount of times the sun rises. Homes break!
To keep a marriage free from the evil of outsiders, you must follow some basic rules, male or female. These tips and tricks are mostly for females, though. If you are male and reading this please tell us what would work to revive a stagnant marriage, in your opinion.
I must say that women need to wake up and play their roles as a wife. Stop complaining and start taking action, ladies. I know about marriage, I have been married. I know what men expect and want. I can easily tell you, with all honesty what you shouldn’t do. I can also easily tell you how you can lose a man in thirty days flat! Men cheat because their levels of imaan(faith) are non-existent.
Yes, I have been married, so I know these things. Now, this post is not about me at all. So, please stop that mind of yours from wondering about me and my life. This is about you. This post will show you how to get your groove back! This post may just help you to save your marriage.
However, I will add my disclaimer because me being me, and an ex- law student, I will put up my safety precautions…HAHA!
Someone might be at a dead end in their marriage, and use my tips right at the end and still fail. What I do not need is someone coming at me with a sledgehammer because the marriage skills I shared did not work for them.
So…I repeat, do not quote me when your husband asks you who taught you to do those things. Well, not unless he is happy with you, then you spread the word. I got it from Shamz and tell him to announce it too. There is a lady dishing out marriage advice online and guess what? It really works!
Do Yourself A Favour & Ditch the Sad Face
If you are a married women or man and you feel like your marriage is failing. Don’t drown in despair. There is still hope. I sat so many friends down, while they were crying and I was about to give them a piece of advice and you know what they said?
I have tried everything under the sun. Nothing works. You want to know what crossed my mind in that instant. Whoah…Is this how you tried everything? With such a negative mindset, you going to get nowhere. Look, I do understand that for those who have been in a marriage, almost forever, it feels like there is not much left to do to save your relationship.
I must say though that an upbeat and positive attitude is my first expectation from you, if you wish to follow my advice. It is understandable and perfectly normal to feel downright depressed when things are falling apart. However, it is only you who can pull yourself out from the rut you are stuck in.
Change Your Intentions
The first thing you need to do to fix yourself is to fix your intentions. What do you want from your marriage? Are you in it because being married is better than loneliness? Are you in it because you have children that need you? Are you in it because of your creator, the Lord of the Universe? Do you want to have a blessed marriage for the sake of Allah swt your Lord. Do you wish to grow spiritually? What does Islam say about your husband and how to treat him? What rights does your spouse have over you? Do you want real fulfillment? Do you prefer a life and marriage for Instagram that is oh so perfect, but dead and stagnant in reality?
If you do things with that mindset above, nothing else will matter to you. Why? For starters every action of yours will be done for the pleasure of your creator and thus, if your actions are not reciprocated you won’t feel like your world just fell apart. You will remain confident, because you will trust in your fate. You will trust in what was written in your destiny. Remember both good and bad, comes from Allah swt (GOD) A man who cheats has no real taqwa. A man who fears Allah swt will NEVER hurt a women and cheat and vice versa. Men with real taqwa, fear Allah and are good partners. The same applies to women. End of Story.
Love Bomb Yourself Honey, Before You Work On Him
Now that, we have cleared that aspect, let’s talk about you. If you are constantly feeling drained and listless, how are you going to put in any extra effort into saving your marriage? How are you going to be super-wife? You already know what I am going to say next, don’t you? Yeah, you guessed right! Self-care is super important! Enough sleep, exercise and healthy eating is your first step.
Without quiet time for yourself, you will get lost. So, find time to enjoy your life alone. Get to know yourself. Love yourself first. Your first love, should be yourself. Do something you used to love but gave up. Find a new hobby. Your first concern should be your mental, physical and emotional well-being. If you have your mental and physical health, you will be able to soar and thrive within your marriage. Happiness is contagious. Spread joy in your home through your own well being and peace of mind. You will be able to give back so much more because you are now so much more content. Sort that out and then we can talk…
Newly Weds Better
Than Old Couples?
So, you want to be as happy as your first day of marriage? Unfortunately, that can’t happen. Back then you were newly weds. What this means is that marriage was a novelty. In time, all those lovey dovey cooing and feelings got replaced by did you forget to take the trash out again? Also, for those who are happily married they will tell you that the marriage actually evolves and grows to the next stage.
You faced the worst and you are still together, are you not? Rest assured that even though you are not where you want to be, the great news is that you are still married. You have not yet started to divide those assets, so honey, there is still time to save things.
Revive Those Sparks
The problem is there are no sparks at this moment. If you re-invent yourself and make some changes, albeit small changes, you can cause huge ripples. First things first. My number one piece of advice to all women is. Never allow your husband to see you disheveled. You heard right. Lift your hands up if you are the type that looks wretched in the house but when you get into that car, you look like a super babe? Before you were married to him, would you be caught dead looking the way you do now, when you are lounging at home? If it was not good enough back then, it is not good enough now.
After having had babies we all have stretch marks, ugly scars and what not. Even your husband is not exactly a re-incarnation of Ian Somerhaulder is he? He has aged too. Perhaps you have not noticed those grey specks on his hair or beard because you love him thaaaaat much. He is still your knight in shining armour regardless of the fact that he has aged a bit. So honey, trust me when I say this, the small efforts won’t go unnoticed…to be continued…
Many years back, I would drive around my small farm town, where I am from, with a red battered VW Beetle which to me felt like a red Lambo! Sometimes friends and family would see me stuck in the middle of the main road, bonnet up, and trying embarrassingly and desperately to re-install the fan belt.
As part of my self-improvement and development, I have started to open my eyes and get educated about cars, something that I always assumed was more a man’s forte. Since my divorce I have been forced to jump out of the fairy tale I was living in.
I know how many times my car needs to be fed with those delicious and golden liquids. However, that is about where it all ends. Oh yes, I do recall what is a fan belt from my teen memories. I want to say though, that it is not beneath a women to know about manly things like vehicles. In fact knowledge will give rise to your self-confidence levels and improve your self-esteem beyond words.
Time for Some Changes
So, if you are anything like me, and still sitting with the car your dad bought for you back in Uni, then it means that it’s time for some changes. Where does one start? What should you look out for when you decide to purchase a new car?
Should you opt for brand new or should you go for slightly used but with very little mileage? In my opinion, unless I am a billionaire, I will definitely not purchase a car out of the box. I honestly believe that cars are a huge waste of money because they depreciate in value. Unless you are deciding to purchase a collectors Aston Martin…I guess in that case it is a whole new story.
New or Pre-owned
Something you should know if you have not already done research is that the best place to look for a car is at an auction.
Choose a car that is not only aesthetically pleasing but practical. You can’t purchase a luxury car with white leather seats and two doors if you have toddlers. You should also consider fuel costs for commuting.
You won’t require the services of a mechanic to perform a leak test. Stop the car on a clear driveway and stall it for 30 minutes. Then look under for any fluid that leaks.
Check the body of the car for any paint jobs, you will easily notice this when you open the car door. It is usually the sides of the car which has telltale signs of a hidden paint job/repair.
Do a test drive on the highway. See how the car handles bends. Ensure that the breaks are in good condition and notice squeals and squeaks. For this you should ask the dealer to stop talking in order to pay attention to important sounds and sensations. How does it feel when you change the gears and is the clutch easy to push in and release?
Learn about the brand and make of the vehicle, ask people you know who have those cars. Also check out online reviews.
Feel like a Queen
These tips above are sure to get you your dream car. If you don’t feel like a total queen afterwards because you did it all on your own, then something is drastically wrong!
Let’s be brutally honest here, no women is comfortable removing her clothes in front of other women, especially not a woman with a beautiful body. For many women, the reluctance about visiting a beautician for waxing is mainly due to how self-conscious most women are. Many of us dread seeing our beauty therapists when it’s time for a wax. I know I am extremely uncomfortable even after years of visiting the same therapist. So, it is essential for women seeking out ways to have hair-free skin, to make sure that we find a suitable therapist. Then comes the burn factor, when it comes to waxing. It is time-consuming to do a d.i.y. especially if you not used to it. I have had countless burns and scars from waxing.
The problem that all of us face, is the tedious painful procedure behind it. My pain limits are really low and I always screech in pain whenever I visit the beautician. No amount of painkillers help for that stinging burning tearing sensation of waxing. Although I must admit that the smooth skin afterwards is a good reward. Most women, especially married women, will inform you that the best part about having smooth skin is that your husband won’t be able to get his hands off you. Many of us break out though with pimples after a wax, due to ingrown hairs as well as sensitivity. We believe that our bodies was given to us as a loan by our creator, therefore keeping it in tip top condition is vital. Personal development entails taking care of your physical body as well as emotional needs. Your self- confidence levels will soar when you are hair free. Leaving the house is simpler and faster. You won’t have to stand in front of the mirror to pluck stray hairs anymore.
I have tried shaving and waxing hair removal cremes and
concoctions of all types and of all methods of hair removal but none have
excited me in this way.
As a rule, I must try out items before I actually feature them on my page. After various interviews and reviews with many satisfied clients, I am pleased to feature and promote Laser touch on my blog. I have also teamed up with them, offering them a space to rent out and perform hair removal and skin therapy sessions.
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It will rob you and
highjack your soul if you allow it to!
What am I speaking
For some reason, I believed that people would look up Fibromyalgia instead of being so clueless about it. I mean it is not exactly an illness that is rare. Its rampant within the community. There are many who become overwhelmed by the mention of the name, Fibromyalgia. Fibra- ma-what? I am often asked. Some people can’t even pronounce the illness let alone bother to find out more about it. It is too complicated for certain minds to comprehend, thus my need to speak about it before I proceed to other blogs of substance which I have in mind.
I have been inundated with questions about this syndrome or Auto Immune Illness as I phrase it to many. Well let me tell you this much, it is no joke, living with Fibromyalgia. It has robbed me of a lot of things, particularly my desire to be a hot shot advocate or lawyer. So naturally, we have a very acrimonious relationship, me and Fibromyalgia.
Before I describe the symptoms to you, I will tell you how
it begins. While some of you are just curious to know more about it, I am
writing this article because I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. Seeing
that my blog is about self-development and lifestyle I will tell you about ways
in which you can manage this illness and ways to prevent it from happening to
If you want to lead a life that is fruitful and healthy then
you need to be careful about how you handle stress. If you don’t pull up your
socks right now and become mindful of your health, trust me, nobody is exempt
from developing dreaded diseases such as Fibromyalgia and Cancer. There is a
direct link between stress and illness and neglect of your body and mind.
While I love to be healthy, it is very often that my
personal life often stands in the way of me being my best healthy self.
However, the key to success is standing up and fighting and not to give up or
back down. I often battle with my desires to just do what I feel like and eat
how I want. I must admit though, that whenever I eat unhealthily it affects my
So here are the initial symptoms that slowly began wreaking
havoc in my life:
Pain in my shoulders and neck
Loss of memory
Constantly being tired
To be quite honest, these symptoms began during the last
year of my marriage, the year we had decided to try one last time. The cherry
on the top was the court case which I had, which came after my actual divorce.
This court case was not between me and my ex-husband. By this time already we
were well adjusted to the situation and had no issues with each other. To this
day, we remain good friends and support each other through our parenting
journey. He has been my constant support and strength.
Stress is your worst enemy
Going back to my point on stress, I will reiterate that it
is the biggest cause of every health concern you may have, trust me on this
If you are one of those people who is constantly stressed
out about the littlest of things then you need to take heed. Try to improve
your life, and become aware of and mindful of your stress levels as part of
2011/2012 my most
Going back to that year 2011, was possibly the worst year of
my life. At first, I pegged it down to temporary insomnia, due to many things I
needed to think about. I was so unhappy back then and leading the most
unauthentic life in the whole world. I was basically living for other people
and not for myself.
Needless to say, this is what pushed my body and my well being to the brink of a complete breakdown and reaching rock bottom. I am not saying that I did not love my ex-husband, crazily and passionately and he loved me just as much, but there were things beyond my control and eventually, I had to just let go, and he gave in as well.
That is when Fibromyalgia decided to attack me full force. I
recall many times falling off to sleep soundly in my car when I would go to
fetch my son from school. I at first thought perhaps I was pregnant again? It would
have been the biggest blessing if I was and if it wasn’t Fibromyalgia finding
its way into my body.
I only got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia three years after the illness was full blown and swimming through my veins. Fibromyalgia is difficult to diagnose. I used to visit the doctor so often complaining of my hands, my back, my feet, my ribs and often suffering from insomnia and being constantly exhausted. When my G.P mentioned Fibromyalgia, I assumed it was something like arthritis. I didn’t quite understand what he meant. I could not even pronounce the word Fibromyalgia and by the time I got home, even forgot what he called this syndrome or illness.
So, what exactly is Fibromyalgia you ask?
In a nutshell, fibromyalgia is an autoimmune syndrome which affects your muscles and joints and your cognitive abilities, your sleeping patterns as well as your bowel movements etc.
Constant burning and severe pain in your muscles
Irritable bowel syndrome
Heightened senses such as smell and sensitivity
to loud noises
Severe sensitivity to the emotions of others
Depression due to the struggle and pain from
Is there a cure for Fibromyalgia?
No, but if you are totally and completely stress-free for a long period of time, if you manage your symptoms through exercise and healthy eating habits, practice meditation and seek therapy for anxiety it can definitely be minimized to the point of feeling as if it has disappeared altogether. However, in theory, it is so easy to speak about the ways you can manage this illness. In practice, it is not always easy.
I am sure you are aware that, the life of a single mother is never stress-free, so avoiding stress is not possible. However, effectively managing the way you deal with stress is the way to tackle fibromyalgia. Money is another major issue as there are specific vitamins that are required and a must for this illness in addition to medication. Constant massages and cupping, as well as acupuncture, are all holistic ways to treat Fibromyalgia. As any single mother will tell you, the one thing, we don’t have enough of is money. Medical aid and medical insurance does not recognize Fibromyalgia as an illness and therefore does not pay for chronic pain medication.
Vitamins and Supplements
I read somewhere, in a very poorly researched article that vitamins are not required to lead a healthy life and that all one needs is to eat healthily and exercise. I was overwhelmed with anger at the stupidity of the writer. We live in a world where there are constant pollution and stress and even if we ate right and avoided unhealthy food and exercised it would not be enough for our bodies. Vitamins are not just for Fibromyalgia sufferers.
The fact remains that we don’t always eat organic and our food these days are very polluted by chemicals. Naturally, our body only produces a limit of specific vitamins etc. for our bodies to function well. Stress limits tend to use up whatever our body produces leaving us in a deficit when it comes to specific vitamins for our core to function. Thus, certain supplements and vitamins are vital and essential to assist us along the way, especially when we get older. With or without Fibromyalgia Vitamins and supplements are a must have in every home!
How to prevent Fibromyalgia?
Change your mindset and think positive, somehow.
Manage your stress through outlets such as exercise, therapy, time management, constant breaks, and meditation.
Watch what you consume.
Make sure you take supplements such as Vitamin B, Vitamin D, Omega 3,6,9, Magnesium, Glutathione and most importantly calcium.
Many people will tell you that Fibromyalgia is brought on by severe trauma and stress as there is a direct correlation between the chemicals of the brain, your central nervous system, and the spine and the way it affects your pain threshold. If you want to avoid Fibromyalgia you have to work on your self-development by developing skills to enhance your ability to cope in this harsh world, we live in. While you cannot avoid stress, stress is the number one culprit which creates needless diseases and illnesses in your body.
For further information on fibromyalgia, please visit these
If you have been affected by fibromyalgia please feel free to comment and engage with readers. You never know who you may be helping by speaking about your illness. Provide the health solutions that have worked for you.
I was once asked about my views on polygamy by a non-Muslim many years back. I hang my head in shame at the answer I gave to him. I was only twenty-one and thought I knew everything there was to know about Islam back then. How arrogantly, I answered. I am now ashamed to say that I thought in such a small-minded and narrow way back then, but I have grown and this is all part of my journey of growth and self-development.
Divine rights of a man
You are a Muslim woman, but you don’t believe or accept polygamy, how is that possible? The holy Quraan clearly gives a man the rights to have four wives. Who are you then to refuse his God-given, divine rights? I ask.
Many years ago, I used to have debates and arguments with my brothers and any man who even whispered the word polygamy near me. Stupid and naive that I was, I argued about things I had no knowledge of. About two years ago, my younger brother sat me down and took the time to explain polygamy to me in detail. I promised to listen to him with an open mind without interrupting him. At first, I sat with my arms crossed thinking what I would say to him and how I would argue my point. However, as he went on, something within me began to change. I really started to understand the hikmah (wisdom) behind polygamy.
Allah (GOD) swt is so great. A staunch feminist and a passionate activist against abuse of women, I used to be adamant that every man only saw polygamy as a tool and means to satisfy their desires and hurt and exploit innocent women. How wrong I was! There are many men who exploit their God-given rights to have 4 wives, by marrying women and then treating them badly. There are however many individuals who have successfully taken more than one wife and lead extraordinary lives. They are fair and just and provide love, care, and support to all four wives equally. Their family life is in order and these families really thrive upon this setting.
Strong Imaan and proper taqwa is the solution (Fear your Lord and have faith in His wisdom)
During the time of our prophet Muhammad s.a, polygamy was encouraged not for carnal desires. There were many reasons but mostly it was there to take care of women. When a woman lost her husband through death or divorce, the companions of the prophet s.a would marry them to save them from zina (adultery) and poverty and to protect their best interests and sometimes even offer support as role models to another mans children in cases where the fathers had passed on.
The way I look at it, polygamy is a blessing for women. The benefits are numerous. Many women today do not want to be a second wife, neither do they wish to share their husbands. This to me is shallow and immature behavior as Muslim women. A while back a newly married bride, I know personally, asked her husband to take a second wife. She said that she had chosen someone for him based on the women’s marital status. Here was another woman just like her, divorced and struggling to make ends meet. I was utterly shocked. The women who did this was young, stunningly beautiful and what surprised me was that she was newly married. I took her aside and I asked her if she was okay? Why would you even suggest that? I wondered at that time. She selflessly chose to open her heart to another women.
Can you imagine a polygamy hater hearing this? I was appalled and shocked beyond words. After careful scrutiny of her intentions and reasoning, I realized how beautiful polygamy is and more so, it was a wake-up call for me too.
No need for consent from the first wife
You as a Muslim woman need to understand that Jannah (heaven) lies under the feet of your husband. If you please him, you please Allah. If he decides that he wants another wife, you cannot stop him. I honestly believe that if you ask for a divorce, just because he took another wife, you are cruel and selfish beyond words.
If a man secretly marries that is not part of Islam. However, just remember that a man does not need a first wife’s permission for polygamy and that says it all. Deception is discouraged and frowned upon. However, if a man comes to his wife honestly and explains his intentions, allows the first wife to be a participant in the procedure of choosing another wife and is good and kind to his first wife, then what is the problem?
Stop Complaining and learn to appreciate what you have
Women often complain about their husbands. I am going to be brutally honest here. Some women say they have run out of excuses: “Honey, not tonight, I have a headache!” is now becoming a stale excuse. You can’t always satisfy his desires, if he has a high sex drive then what should he do? Commit adultery?
Men are from Mars and women are from Pluto
Women need to understand something, men were created very differently to us. Some men are weak, and women are the strong ones. We can control our desires. Some men can’t. The obvious solution is polygamy. If you as woman lack in the stamina to be the wife, he needs then don’t push him to sin.
Do you know how many women are single? Do you know that there future predicts that there will be more women on earth than men? In answer to your burning questions in all your minds right now. No, I am not desperate or stupid enough to jump into a polygamous marriage without being sure about who he is and what he stands for.
I know my place as a Muslim woman. Just as you don’t have a choice when it comes to proper hijab, you must cover because this is divine law! Right? It clearly states in the Quraan cover, cover cover! In the very same way, you must accept polygamy as divine law clearly stated in the holy Quraan.
Would I be a second wife? Yes! Would I allow my husband to have a second wife? Yes, definitely I would! In fact at one stage I begged my ex-husband to take another wife for different reasons that are personal. I once even suggested he marry a close friend of mine who was divorced and older than him. He thought I had gone insane.
Benefits of polygamy:
Plenty of me time when he is with her.
You know where he is when he is not with you.
Shared responsibility for example:
He owns a business. Each wife can manage certain department. Or you could take turns to cook and share meals etc
Thawaab and blessings for following the sunnah and upholding the divine decree of Allah swt
One big happy family – who needs outsiders when there are more than enough insiders?
Discounts for shopping in bulk…hahah
Most importantly mutually assisting others in matters of deen by encouraging one another to be their best.
Security and support. You have a team behind you, what more do you need?
So, ladies before you decide to hate polygamy, know that you
hating the divine rule and law of Allah swt, your creator. Are you disputing
the hikmah and wisdom of the Lord of the universe, you have the audacity to do
that?! Please feel free to leave your comments. Thank you for reading, I know this
was a really long read.
By no means is this an advertising platform. I am here to write and convey my journey of self-development to you. Part of self-development and being a good human being requires sharing your time, your heart and your being with others.
On this note, I have decided to assist entrepreneurs and small businesses at least once a month with marketing. This service which I offer is free of charge, and mostly to empower women to take charge of their lives. It does not actually matter who you are. Whether you are male or female, as long as your products are of a higher caliber, I will review them and choose whom I wish to feature on my blogs.
Without further ado, I would like to present some of my favorite items to you. I have collaborated with an array of small online boutiques to bring you items which you may purchase for yourself this February, in light of self-love and self-development.
The lady I feature today, is an upcoming designer of modest clothes, in particular, streetwear that is unique, chic, sassy, classy and elegant. Well…I thought so….
When I was fourteen my mother sent me for fashion designing classes and bought me two machines of my own to use to create my own outfits. I guess my mother got tired of buying me all those fancy designer dresses. The honest to God truth is I love clothing, designing and creating a garment from scratch. However, I met my match when it comes to designing, or should I say, I have met a lady who truly surpasses me in her designing skills. It is the whole truth.
Here are some of her stunning and trendy hijab style items which I think have earned a special place of must-haves on my list. I have chosen a few favorites. I contacted her and after a brief conversation she was very responsive and permitted me to feature her lovely items.
Allow me to inform you that catfishing people has literally become an online pandemic. People are killing themselves over it. It has come to a point where it is essential to delve deeper into things, to expose those who are using the internet as a smokescreen to hide their identities. Catfish is an online term used for people who remain anonymous while stealing someone else’s identity off social media. They use it to create a ruckus and go completely crazy online. Those who have been scammed by these freakish inhumane people will tell you that the worst feeling, is getting that email notifying you that you have been scammed.
I initially assumed that it was the young ones in danger, perhaps mostly teens. However, it has come to my attention that besides, myself, a grown woman there are many, just like me who have been ruthlessly conned. Some women, according to a local therapist, have been conned out of their homes, savings and valuable jewelry.
I found that most predators lead a double life, engaging in acts of deceit while leading a perfectly normal life on the outside. Many are even well-respected businessmen with unsuspecting wives and families. Even religious leaders are not exempt from being involved in these vile things. It is usually immature people who play dirty tricks, right? You got that wrong. Some of these men are in actual fact like bored housewives. With not enough excitement, intimacy and companionship, lacking in their lives, it is no wonder that they usually seek out vulnerable people.
BLESSING OR CURSE
While technology may be a blessing in disguise for business purposes and for information. It has its uses. The downside is that there are numerous problems when it comes to engaging on social media. Below I will list a few points to take cognizance of when you are online. I am not saying that everyone out here is suspect and bad. There are genuine, kind people and loads of decent humans out here. Among the crowds exist a few individuals with great big ideas to use the internet as bait and a trap.
FRIEND ME, FRIEND REQUEST
So the next time you get a friend request, you should carefully scrutinize every single thing written on their profile and read between the lines. It is easy to block someone. It is much easier to set up another account and stalk to your heart’s content. Friends have tried it for research purposes. We have opened several different accounts and wormed our way back into contact lists with very little effort. The amazing part was the trusting individuals out there. We could have easily conned all those men that sent us invites and waves, trying so desperately to get some action and interaction from women.
DISGUSTED AND PETRIFIED
Disgusted and petrified, I closed my eyes and cringed at some of the messages I received. Some were downright hilarious and I was tempted to ask for something and play along. To all of you online, my message is be careful. Roving eyes are everywhere. So be ultra careful out on the internet universe.
If you have been a target and victim of cyberstalking or cyberbullying and being catfished, please feel free to comment and discuss on my comment’s forum. I would love to create an awareness and perhaps even figure out a few things about our catfish together. Who knows, your catfish, maybe the same as my catfish, one and the same person?
What to do when you are being stalked or catfished online?
As someone with a legal background, I can tell you that you can definitely get into trouble for stealing someone’s identity depending on the circumstances. You can land up in jail if you stake claims to someone’s identity online.
If you can prove their actions, you can also take legal action and become involved in a civil case for poor health and sue for damages. Avoid posting your personal info online. Be careful about who you engage with and what you tell them.
Keep track of things with a paper trail, and have records of the conversation between you and the cyber bully. You can sue for harassment and get a restraining order as well. According to the U.K laws, the penalty for cyber-stalking is grave and could land you in prison from one year or even ten years. If the stalker threatens the victim in any way the punishment could obviously be worse.
If you are the victim of cyberstalking /harassment/defamation/ cyberbullying or catfishing please do not be ashamed to go forward and report this. Many people are intimidated by the threats from the perpetrator.
Shared sexual content often results in fear for one’s reputation. If you have been a victim, there are remedies available. There is a stigma attached to it as it is basically rape of the mind and sometimes cannot be proven.
I urge all of you out there to keep a record of the bullying and to not be afraid of taking legal action and taking charge of your life. Get your life back now!
The same old issues we had last year are bound to crop up into the new year if we don’t make small changes to our lifestyle. The old routine of juggling work commitments, family responsibilities, the challenge of remaining part of certain social norms, community projects yadah yadah yadah is officially back.
in the middle of the week. Will the kids fail their whole year of school if you
go out with them on a school night? I think not! Plan ahead. Make sure that
homework is done. Make sure that everything is in its place for the next day.