Let’s talk about catfish baby let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things that may be, let’s talk about Catfish!

THE PERILS OF TECHNOLOGY

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

Nobody wishes to discuss their experience of being catfished. It is that traumatic for most people. Why I decided to blog on this topic? I myself have been catfished really badly. Catfish- what is catfish? Some of you ask, clueless?

PANDEMIC

SUICIDE

Allow me to inform you that catfishing people has literally become an online pandemic. People are killing themselves over it. It has come to a point where it is essential to delve deeper into things, to expose those who are using the internet as a smokescreen to hide their identities. Catfish is an online term used for people who remain anonymous while stealing someone else’s identity off social media. They use it to create a ruckus and go completely crazy online. Those who have been scammed by these freakish inhumane people will tell you that the worst feeling, is getting that email notifying you that you have been scammed.

For many devious con artists, the internet has become a safe haven and playground for predators. With very little effort, it is becoming simpler to stalk and destroy lives without getting caught. I myself have been targeted by one of the most ruthless and notorious human beings that I have ever encountered.

VICTIMS ARE MOSTLY WOMEN BUT BOTH MALES AND FEMALES

Ladies and gentlemen be extremely cautious when utilizing the net. Use privacy settings and do not reveal more information than you should. Most social media influencers are females.

YOUNG ONES AND OLDER PEOPLE

I initially assumed that it was the young ones in danger, perhaps mostly teens. However, it has come to my attention that besides, myself, a grown woman there are many, just like me who have been ruthlessly conned. Some women, according to a local therapist, have been conned out of their homes, savings and valuable jewelry.

DOUBLE LIFE

I found that most predators lead a double life, engaging in acts of deceit while leading a perfectly normal life on the outside. Many are even well-respected businessmen with unsuspecting wives and families. Even religious leaders are not exempt from being involved in these vile things. It is usually immature people who play dirty tricks, right? You got that wrong. Some of these men are in actual fact like bored housewives. With not enough excitement, intimacy and companionship, lacking in their lives, it is no wonder that they usually seek out vulnerable people.

TECHNOLOGY

BLESSING OR CURSE

While technology may be a blessing in disguise for business purposes and for information. It has its uses. The downside is that there are numerous problems when it comes to engaging on social media. Below I will list a few points to take cognizance of when you are online. I am not saying that everyone out here is suspect and bad. There are genuine, kind people and loads of decent humans out here. Among the crowds exist a few individuals with great big ideas to use the internet as bait and a trap.

FRIEND ME, FRIEND REQUEST

So the next time you get a friend request, you should carefully scrutinize every single thing written on their profile and read between the lines. It is easy to block someone. It is much easier to set up another account and stalk to your heart’s content. Friends have tried it for research purposes. We have opened several different accounts and wormed our way back into contact lists with very little effort. The amazing part was the trusting individuals out there. We could have easily conned all those men that sent us invites and waves, trying so desperately to get some action and interaction from women.

DISGUSTED AND PETRIFIED

Disgusted and petrified, I closed my eyes and cringed at some of the messages I received. Some were downright hilarious and I was tempted to ask for something and play along. To all of you online, my message is be careful. Roving eyes are everywhere. So be ultra careful out on the internet universe.

If you have been a target and victim of cyberstalking or cyberbullying and being catfished, please feel free to comment and discuss on my comment’s forum. I would love to create an awareness and perhaps even figure out a few things about our catfish together. Who knows, your catfish, maybe the same as my catfish, one and the same person?

What to do when you are being stalked or catfished online?

  • As someone with a legal background, I can tell you that you can definitely get into trouble for stealing someone’s identity depending on the circumstances. You can land up in jail if you stake claims to someone’s identity online.
  • If you can prove their actions, you can also take legal action and become involved in a civil case for poor health and sue for damages. Avoid posting your personal info online. Be careful about who you engage with and what you tell them.
  • Keep track of things with a paper trail, and have records of the conversation between you and the cyber bully. You can sue for harassment and get a restraining order as well. According to the U.K laws, the penalty for cyber-stalking is grave and could land you in prison from one year or even ten years. If the stalker threatens the victim in any way the punishment could obviously be worse.
  • What is harassment? It is when someone behaves in a way that offends or intimidates you which is known as discrimination. https://www.gov.uk/report-stalker U.KSee https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberstalking for more info on cyberstalking. U.S.ASee http://cybercrime.org.za/cyberstalking/ https://virtual-addiction.com/what-is-cyber-bullying/

If you are the victim of cyberstalking /harassment/defamation/ cyberbullying or catfishing please do not be ashamed to go forward and report this. Many people are intimidated by the threats from the perpetrator.

Shared sexual content often results in fear for one’s reputation. If you have been a victim, there are remedies available. There is a stigma attached to it as it is basically rape of the mind and sometimes cannot be proven.

I urge all of you out there to keep a record of the bullying and to not be afraid of taking legal action and taking charge of your life. Get your life back now!

Legal Aid South Africa  http://www.legal-aid.co.za/?page_id=424

Have you been a victim of cyber-stalking? You are not alone. Cyberstalking is on the rise. You are worthy of your privacy, safety and peace! STOP BULLYING NOW!

Bring back that Joie de Vivre into your life, now – Stay sane in an insane world!

Plan ahead and re-evaluate your goals!


Stage one

Make some changes

The same old issues we had last year are bound to crop up into the new year if we don’t make small changes to our lifestyle. The old routine of juggling work commitments, family responsibilities, the challenge of remaining part of certain social norms, community projects yadah yadah yadah is officially back.

Stop! Get rid of last years habits, now! May I go ahead and breathe fresh perspective into your routine? Come on, it is time for some changes. Are you ready? Here we go…

It’s the start of a new year and it can be the start of a new life for both you and me too.

 Baby steps

I don’t know much, but what I have learned from life is that you have to take each day as it comes. Baby steps. One day at a time. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, with what life throws your way, you have to stop and focus on one thing at a time. You can’t fix everything in one go. Self-development is a slow process which requires oodles of patience.

Did you go crazy with that credit card? Time to pay it back!

Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. Did you neglect your health over the holidays?
  2. Have you been overspending during the past few months?

Take some time out to reflect on all the external changes you need to make. Perhaps you need to pay certain bills.

3. Do you have a plan?

How are you going to pay it off?

4. Do you need to declutter your home?

Are there numerous items which you have accumulated but have no use for?

5. Are there changes you wish to make to your career or job?

First things first. Let’s grab a writing pad and a pen. On your page, make 3 sections.

Set goals

A.) External goals /material issues.

B.) Emotional goals.

C.) Health and physical goals.

  • Write everything down in their respective sections.
  • Have a timeline and set your goals for each month.
  •  Break that down into weekly goals and methods for achieving your goals.
  • Once you have done that get to the emotional issues that have weighed you down last year. How are you wiling to resolve those issues?
  • Are there friends which you need to let go off slowly from your life?
  • Is there someone you need to have that essential chat with?
  • What are your health goals and aspirations?
  • Do you need to see a doctor for that annual check-up which is long over-due?

Execute your plans

  • Go ahead and break down your steps. Next to each step, jot down a date. Tackle one thing at a time, one day at a time.
  • Re – evaluate your old goals and make changes and adjustments.
  • Goals give you something to work towards. Direction gives you a sense of security. When you achieve certain milestones you will feel relief and a sense of achievement.

Now for stage two…

Meditate

It is essential to be able to reflect and to meditate each day.

  • Reflect on your purpose each day and never lose sight of that.

Take time out

If all you do, is run between chores and work, kids and cooking then you are going to suffer from burn out and monotony.

  • Set aside some time for yourself every single day.
  • Whether you use the time you have early in the morning before everyone wakes up or whether you use the last hour before bed time.

Unwind

  • Check out WebMD for breathing techniques that bust stress away:

Do something you love

A good friend is better than a well paid therapist!

Visit a friend

Do you have a trusted friend whom you may confide in?

Someone who will not judge you.

A friend who will give you their perspective on your life

An honest friend who will tell you those truths which you need to hear.

Someone you can be yourself with.

Someone with a wicked sense of humor.

  • Once a month, have a catch-up session with him or her.

Take care of yourself

Sometimes simple things like self-care is very important.

  • Do a home facial.
Relaxing time.
  • When we are stressed out, we tend to neglect our bodies first and appearance.
  • Relax away with some bath bombs and lather on some lotion.

Do something Impulsive once in a while

Get out of your normal routine.

  • Who says that all the fun things have to be done over the weekends? Have a family barbecue on a week night.
  • Get out those board games. Assemble the family in the living room. Put away your phones and begin.
  •  Go for a walk in the park with the kids.
  •  Eat out in the middle of the week. Will the kids fail their whole year of school if you go out with them on a school night? I think not! Plan ahead. Make sure that homework is done. Make sure that everything is in its place for the next day.
Children also need a break from all the rules!
  • Go for a drive and buy those ice cream cones.
Life is an adventure, live it!
Make this year count!

Children also need a break now and then from the tedium of school day routines. We tend to make it a rule that week days are just for work work and more work. Don’t keep repeating old patterns expecting different results. Make small changes to your life and stick to those changes. You will be pleasantly surprised at the outcome of getting out of your normal rut. You are in charge of your life. Make your own rules and traditions. Set your own trends. Make this year count!

Prevent Health Catastrophe’s

Without your health, you are as good as dead!


Every doctor, for every single illness, from cancer to fibromyalgia, heart disease, depression, and anxiety, will tell you that the best prevention for any disease is exercise.


Prevent illnesses from attacking your body. Take charge of your own health, now!

If you are going to take charge of your life, fix your health first. Without it, you are basically dead. I tell myself that like every other human being, it is perfectly fine and normal to make many new year’s resolutions and stick to none. That is the bad news! Stick around and scroll down. You will figure out the good news on your own.

Exercise is the key to prevention of many illnesses. Let’s face it, the most crucial and difficult aspect of exercising is the first step. It is the key to sticking with your routine for life. How do you motivate and talk to yourself? By now you should know that nobody can live your life for you. You are the only one in charge of you! I have heard my mother preach these lines, all of my life. A good workout routine is a great tool for the success of your mental and physical development and well-being.

Get your butt into gear! The first step is the crucial step!

I will tell you what works for me. I love working out, that’s the truth. What is also true is that I tend to procrastinate when I am afraid. Why does exercise petrify me? As a fibromyalgia sufferer, one wrong move can keep me down for days. So naturally, I would worry about not overdoing it.

Easy does it!

As for you, remind yourself about the days you stuck to your routine. The feelings invoked from those feel good hormones are priceless, aren’t they? No anti- depressant, no anti-inflammatory, is going to bring you immense pleasure as the one your body naturally releases from exercise.

Prevent illnesses from attacking your body. Take charge of your own health, now!

GO! GO! GO!

Did you think you needed weed to get high? Get a natural high from running!
  1. As soon as you wake up, after your prayers, change into some sexy workout gear. (That should be another motivation. Wanting to fix some physical flaws.)
  2. You should have a water bottle ready in the fridge.
  3. Don’t think and plan too much. Just start.
  4. Breathing exercises and warming up will slowly get your heart rate going. Start with that first. End with cooling down exercises.
  5. Decide on exercises that suit your body type and present health condition.
  6. Start with smaller periods and intensity and gradually increase.
  7. Don’t become over-zealous and overdo it on your first day.
  8. Set aside this time, for yourself.
  9. Switch off your phone. Put that do not disturb sign up on your door.
  10. This is more important than the early morning briefing with your boss.
  11. For some people working out with a friend is good motivation. I enjoy going at it solo. Sometimes time alone is what you need.
  12. Have some motivational talk to listen to while you exercise. Some people enjoy listening to music, some prefer the voice of their favorite Qari. (Quraan reciter)
  13. Join a motivational Whattsap group. Knowing that you have others on the same mission as you is great motivation.
  14. Who says exercise should be limited to a specific time of the day?
  15. Sitting at your desk, you could do loads of leg exercises etc.
  16. Incorporate some healthy eating habits like cutting down on sugar. Stop smoking. Minimize gluten. When your clothes get looser, that will spur you on, and keep you going.
Do it for yourself!

Below is a list of useful links to check out. Exercise can be done anywhere. Remember that you are doing this for yourself. One step in the right direction will set your body up to fight illnesses before they try to attack you. Taking care of your body and good health will be sure to bring you immense satisfaction and self-confidence. A good exercise routine is great for your self-development.

8 best pilates you tube work outs: https://www.womenshealthmag.com

Benefits of aqua aerobics: https://www.lifestyleswimming.co.za / info@sawfa.co.za

Join the Sleekgeek challenge: https//m.facebook.com / www.sleekgeek.co.za

Nour on Instagram is great. Check her out! Instagram: Nour S (@noursfit)

Nutrition: Just ask shaz https://www.shazeats.com

Lifeline and Health Coaching. Tammy is the best online coach by far: www.yourlifeline.co.za

Exercises for Fibromyalgia: https://www.healthline.com

The best diet supplement is Shzen’s fat burner and Herbalife: https://www.herbalifenutrition.com / www.shzen.co.za

6 simple exercises to do at your desk: https://www.doyouyoga.com

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SEVERAL WAYS TO SAVE YOURSELF THIS SUMMER

Already regretting your decision to take your leave during the holidays?

In an attempt to have all my errands taken care off before the actual public holidays, I rushed off to the mall with great expectations.

With all of this out of the way, I thought I would have loads of quality time to write away. I was wrong, I was so wrong. Trying to take care of a billion, minute last minute details, within a short period of time is a terrible idea! Almost everyone is thinking along the same lines these days.

Everybody wants to make the best of their time during the holidays. Busy malls remind me of the great stampede on the movie The Lion King. I stand back in fear. This is me being over dramatic and giving myself a coronary attack, as I watch the crowds push and tug to get where they need to be. Crammed against sweaty, stinky bodies during a South African heat wave, is not exactly my idea of relaxation. Everyone is always in a rush to get somewhere, thus the whole purpose of a holiday is defeated, right.

Don’t fret! You still have time to save a semblance of your sanity if you follow some basic self-development rules:

RULES

  • Whenever you feel an impulse to take off your designer sandal and slap some sense into someone, you should stand back. Take a deep breath. Chill. Now, remind yourself that this is still better than being at work with your boss breathing down your neck, giving you a panic attack, literally. Breathing techniques work wonders in combatting stress.
  • If you have a lot of shopping to do always have a list made up in advance instead of prowling the isles. Make sure to get to the mall really early and be the first customer. In that way, you can have the entire store for yourself.
  • Give yourself a break between errands. You shouldn’t be in a rush to get somewhere, after all, you are on holiday. Enjoy a drink or an ice cream at a restaurant. Try a power smoothie at the health bar.
  • Have a special treat for yourself ready once you get home. The anticipation of a relaxing swim and a mocktail, and kicking off those heals and stepping into your soft furry slippers and sleep shirt to slip into, is more than enough incentive to put a smile on your face.
  • Eat proper meals and stay hydrated to prevent heartburn. Water has the ability to recharge your body and energize you. Don’t overdo the water thing at the malls though. You won’t end up doing any shopping at all.
  • It is not any fun to be doing errands all alone. Take a friend with you but please don’t ever make the mistake of getting a sullen teen to accompany you to a mall. That is the worst idea.
  • Many malls in South Africa, have built-in car wash facilities. While you shop, you can have your car washed. It saves you time and energy so you won’t have to do a D.I.Y at home.

I do hope this helps to keep you calm and that you actually enjoy the holidays. I have often heard people say that they need a holiday after the holidays. You can make the most of your time if you follow the tips which are mentioned above. Remember that you are on holiday. Without the normal work routine and deadlines, you are as free as can be.